Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
