What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
