Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
