I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
