Sponge bath it is.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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