he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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