i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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