Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
