Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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