I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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