Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
