he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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