I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
