just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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