Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
