I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
