she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize