Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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