my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
