Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize