could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
