We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
