We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
