I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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