Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
