I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
