she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
