She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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