Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
