he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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