What a fucking waste of an outfit
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
