where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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