Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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