I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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