oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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