I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
