You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
