my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
