My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize