My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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