But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
