ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
