The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
