Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
