this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
