the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
