do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Drake has all the answers
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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