i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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