I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
