Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
