Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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