Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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