im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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