its not stalking. its research.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
