I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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