How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
