So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
