i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
