I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize